The past few days have been defined by grief with folks all around me. A beloved professor's life was taken by cancer and two young men's lives were taken by a falling tree.
Who could ever be adequately prepared for such things?
Who could ever say "I'm ready to lose my spouse...my soul mate...and the mother/father of my children?"
Who could ever say "I'm absolutely convinced that I'm ready for one of my children to die at any unexpected moment?"
Who could say "I'm ready for my father to leave me and this earth forever because I know he's suffering?"
Losing someone we love is never easy. It doesn't matter how much they are suffering, we grieve because we feel that God is taking something from us. We grieve because we revert to Maslow's pyramid of needs all the way down to a physiological need to have that person in close proximity. We feel that we have an innate right to "see" and to "touch" them. That they are somehow "ours."
I remember quite vividly when I lost my grandfather back in 2007. He was far from himself when he left us...hardly speaking a word and sleeping constantly...rarely eating anything.
One would think, knowing that he was a Christian man, that we would rejoice in the knowledge of his newly glorified body and life in Heaven and the knowledge of the wonderful place that he was in.
But what do we do?
We cry.
We grieve.
We continually view death as evil, painful and somehow a "punishment."
Why?
Because in the midst of pain and loss, we are focused on our inward wants. We want our loved one there with us, no matter the cost.
Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's certainly natural.
I do believe however, that we can trace this sort of natural selfishness all the way back to Adam and Eve. Ignoring the Will of God and seeking their own pleasures and satisfaction, they ate from the tree that they had been instructed not to eat from.
I believe that we also do this in the midst of grief...pure selfishness...albeit a characteristic inherent to our nature as fallen creatures.
Does God not work all things for the good of those who love Him?
Do not those who know Jesus as their Lord and Savior have a place in eternity with the Father?
Is Heaven not a wonderful place where He shall wipe all tears from our eyes and there shall be no more death or pain?
Why then, other than selfishness, do some of us grieve so?
I think that it is important to remind ourselves during times of grief that, if the person was a born again believer in Jesus Christ as I know that the professor from Brewton-Parker College was that I spoke of earlier, that he is indeed (as the old cliche' says) "in a better place."
Knowing what we know about Heaven, who in their right mind would ever want someone they love to come back to this wretched earth after they have gone there?
Part of many people's struggle with grief is that they can not take themselves out of the moment and take a "God's-Eye View" of the situation.
We continue to look at death as a painful experience.
Many people who have come near to death and miraculously recovered have reported feelings of comfort and happiness rather than pain.
We continue to see death as an evil punishment.
In one regard, this is true. For the wages of sin is death. We must die because we were born inherently evil and sinful into this world.
The fact that we must die at all is a punishment. We all will one day (unless the Lord comes back first!)...but this is not what I am referring to.
Many see the WAY in which we die as a punishment.
The two young men that died...was God punishing them?....No more than He punished a man who died of old age in the nursing home.
Was God punishing the professor when He allowed cancer to take his life when he had so much to live for....No more than and older person with no family.
You see, God isn't in the business of taking lives and zapping Christians. He certainly could...but He is God. He is Holy and He is good.
Understand that if these folks were Christians, what they received was an eternal release...they received their reward years before many of us are able to. Through Jesus Christ, the "curse of death" becomes eternal bliss.We aren't losing anything. They aren't ours if they belong to Jesus....they are His!
Look upon death with an infinite God's-eye view and use this as your comfort.
-Vic Fordham
Director, Connect: Jesus Ministries
www.connectjesus.com
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